Words Matter (Part 2)

Let your conversation be gracious and attractive so that you will have the right response for everyone. — Colossians 4:6 NLT

The word gracious can also be translated as wholesome, fitting, kind, truthful, gentle, sensitive, thoughtful, and helpful. In most of Jesus’ conversations with His disciples and the public, He was known to be gracious, gentle, considerate, and kind. “Everyone spoke well of him and was amazed by the gracious words that came from his lips…” Luke 4:22 (NLT)

When we respond negatively to people, it is sometimes because we’ve stereotyped them or have a preconceived bias towards them. I remember one time at work when I had to hold a meeting with some residents. I was prewarned about a particular resident who was often disruptive, uncooperative, and disrespectful to residents and work colleagues.

True to the warnings, the resident behaved exactly as forewarned. My colleagues and some of the residents were expecting me to come down hard on this resident. I handled the situation by asking the residents if they wanted this person to be their spokesperson and they all responded no. I then turned to this resident, gently and politely asked them to only raise matters that are specific to themselves and their property.

My colleagues and some of the residents asked how I managed to get the resident to obey me as they’ve failed in the past to make him compliant. This resident later invited me to their property and thanked me for my efforts in dealing with the issues in their neighbourhood. They also asked how they could assist me in my work.

The phrases gentle words, gracious speech, and soft answer do not suggest weakness on the part of the one using them. These words and phrases are powerful and strong enough to soften or break the hardest of hearts. “Patience can persuade a prince, and soft speech can break bones” Proverbs 25:15 (NLT). It was Abigail’s gentle and gracious words of apology that disarmed and softened David’s fury and murderous rage towards Nabal – 1 Samuel 25:12-34.

Often, we don’t deliberately set out to say the wrong things but sometimes the words are already said before we stop to think about them. Only after the words have been spoken do we realise that what we have said is either untrue, hurtful or without grace. As much as possible, our speech should be encouraging, edifying, uplifting and apt for the moment. We are saved and sustained by grace, we should also live and speak with grace.

Knowing how difficult it is to control the tongue, the Psalmist prayed – “Set a guard, O Lord, over my mouth; Keep watch over the door of my lips” Psalm 141:3 (NKJV). This should be our prayer as well.

O LORD, set a guard over my mouth, restrain me from using foul, evil and unhelpful language and help me to know the right words to speak. Let all my speech daily bring You glory and not dishonour, Amen.

Stay blessed,

LaraLex