Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others. — Colossians 3:13 NLT
I heard someone say that reminding someone of an offence they committed against you several years ago means the offence wasn’t truly forgiven initially. This is not necessarily true. If someone is a repeat offender, it may be necessary and appropriate to remind them of a forgiven offence, hoping for reconciliation, restoration, and healing.
Just because one is forgiven doesn’t necessarily cancel or expunge the person from the consequences. A classic example is David’s indiscretion with Bathsheba. Though he was forgiven, he still had to face the painful consequences. Being forgiven restored his relationship with God, but it didn’t exempt him from discipline.
Forgiveness is about overlooking and not exercising our right to release our personal vengeance when we are wronged. An example of this is Joseph’s reaction to how he was treated by his brothers. He had every reason and justification to exercise revenge on his brothers but chose to forgive and sought restoration instead.
Forgiveness is relational and should have at its core every desire and intent to bring about resolution, restitution, restoration and not justice. That said, forgiveness doesn’t necessarily mean that all consequences are avoided or removed. A loving and graceful correction can coexist with forgiveness. You may forgive someone in your heart, yet they may still need to face disciplinary action, especially if the objective is restoration, not retribution or revenge.
Genuine forgiveness sometimes walks jointly with speaking the truth and setting boundaries. This is crucial to prevent repeated harm. Strategically making an effort to remove yourself from a position or situation where people could hurt you repeatedly can be considered as being wise. By adopting the right attitudes of prudence, good judgment, and being honest and transparent, we may be able to avoid being hurt repeatedly.
Forgiveness should always be accompanied by grace and truth. However, grace without truth can lead to tolerance and a license to offend; but truth without grace can quickly lead to unkindness, anger, a critical and judgmental spirit and even cruelty.
In summary, let’s take the advice of Apostle Paul, he said: “Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor [perpetual animosity, resentment, strife, fault-finding] and slander be put away from you, along with every kind of malice [all spitefulness, verbal abuse, malevolence]. Be kind and helpful to one another, tender-hearted [compassionate, understanding], forgiving one another [readily and freely], just as God in Christ also forgave you.” Ephesians 4:31-32 (AMP)
After all, forgiveness frees, liberates or releases the offended from certain emotional depression, including fatigue, insomnia and mental illness.
Stay blessed,
LaraLex
Hills and Valleys 