Moses’ father-in-law said to him, “What you are doing is not good… Now obey my voice; I will give you advice, and God be with you! You shall represent the people before God and bring their cases to God. — Exodus 18: 17,19 ESV
Last week we started looking at how correction or advice is given, focusing on Jethro’s approach. This approach focuses on 4 words to consider before giving advice – What, Why, How and When. We discussed What and Why last week and will look at How and When this week.
How? —How advice or correction is given, is crucial. Giving it harshly, rudely, unsympathetically or even disrespectfully will not yield a favourable result. Also, your relationship with the individual should dictate the approach you take. The way one talks to an adult (even if the person is your child) has to be different from talking to a teenager or 8-year-old. Giving advice compassionately and lovingly is important, although occasionally, it might not be possible. Doing it sympathetically will demonstrate that you are trying to understand where the individual is coming from and as an adviser, you are not trying to control or manipulate them.
When? —Giving advice at the right time is also very important. Avoid doing it where there is an audience as this can be embarrassing or humiliating. Also, consider the person’s mood and circumstances. If that person is going through a tough time and they are spoken to harshly, they are unlikely to take on the advice or correction.
Finally, where possible give suggestions on actions the individual can consider. Jethro did exactly that in Exodus 18:19-22. He advised Moses to delegate certain tasks to capable, honest and God-fearing men to avoid exhausting himself and wearing out the people’s patience. He advised that delegating would enable Moses to focus on his primary calling of being the people’s representative before God.
It is quite common in some churches nowadays for ministers to feel and want to be in control of every aspect of the church’s activities. Many Elders or Pastors make the mistake of being too involved in the details of church administration. This is done even to the extent that their spiritual ministry becomes secondary to the people they serve.
There is a need to delegate and allow others to handle some tasks so that they can maximize their ministry of meeting people’s many spiritual needs. “So the Twelve called a meeting of all the believers. They said, ‘We apostles should spend our time teaching the word of God, not running a food program.’” Acts 6:2 (NLT)
Jethro also said something very important. He tells Moses to take his advice to God. He said, “If you follow this advice, and if God commands you to do so, then you will be able to endure the pressures, and all these people will go home in peace.” Exodus 18:23 (NLT)
Giving advice wrongly has broken up families and friendships and even caused some to walk away from their faith. “From a wise mind comes wise speech; the words of the wise are persuasive.” Proverbs 16:23 (NLT)
It takes wisdom to give advice and correction well and that is why it needs to be done prayerfully.
So, how well do you give advice?
Stay blessed,
LaraLex
Hills and Valleys 