Words Matter (Part 1)

A soft answer turns away wrath, But a harsh word stirs up anger. The tongue of the wise uses knowledge rightly, But the mouth of fools pours forth foolishness. – Proverbs 15:1 NKJV

In life, especially in our relationships and dealings with others, it is inevitable that we will experience a fair measure of conflicts, differences in opinions, misunderstandings, and disagreements. In most cases, what we say and how we say it, is usually the trigger for either a positive or negative response.

What comes out of our mouths reflects what’s already in our hearts. Jesus Himself said – “…For whatever is in your heart determines what you say” Matthew 12:34 (NLT). You can tell a lot about a person from what comes out of their mouth in terms of what they say originating from their heart. Proverbs 27:19 (NLT) says, “As a face is reflected in water, so the heart reflects the real person.”

Oh, how many quarrels, fights and wars, great and small, might have been avoided if only we acknowledged matters early and gently explained the situation! Many conflicts can be traced back to the utterance or writing of a few hasty words, which might have been received and calmed by a pacifying answer. Often, it’s not what we say but the way we say it that prompts the type of reaction we receive whether it is accepted or provokes wrath, anger, strife or war.

Many times, I have made the mistake of not carefully and critically weighing up a situation before speaking or writing. Not every time we voice out what we’re thinking. What we say may be right and correct but how we say it requires thoughtfulness, humility, and grace towards the one whom we’re speaking to. We must evaluate whether what we are saying is fitting or appropriate for that moment or situation.

Perhaps, you are thinking about freedom of expression and your right to speak your mind freely. It is worth remembering that freedom of speech carries with it a huge responsibility, so much so for believers. Jesus said in Matthew 12:36-37(ESV), “I tell you, on the day of judgment people will give account for every careless word they speak, for by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned.” So, not only will we be judged on our actions, but we will also be judged on the words of our mouths.

You do sometimes need “extra grace” to speak to and deal with some people. There will be occasions when our loved ones, neighbours, colleagues, friends, or even relatives will speak to us distastefully and inconsiderably with annoyance and anger in their tone of voice. How you react to this situation will determine whether there’s peace or war. You will prove yourself truly wise, not when you respond in like manner, but when you rise above their level and respond graciously with a soft answer.

When it comes to speaking graciously, Jesus modelled the perfect example for us to emulate. We’ll talk more about this in the next blog.

Stay blessed,

LaraLex